If
you plan to planet-hop, you better know what they’re shoving
across the bar. They tend to be stronger, more colorful, occasionally
radioactive, and some can leave you with a permanent hangover.
Here’s a taste:
Aldeberan
Whiskey
A potent green liquor that Scotty was particularly fond of. Then
again, he’d be fond of tribbles if he could suck hooch out of
them. The prop bottle used in the series is actually a modified bottle
of Cuervo Gold 1800 Tequila.
Blood
Wine
A variety of super-fortified Klingon vino, Worff programmed the
replicators aboard the latter-day Enterprise to produce a close
approximation. Served warm, it is traditionally pounded by Klingon
warriors being inducted into the elite Order of the Bat’lesth.
If you fancy yourself a more sophisticated intergalactic marauder, you
can add a splash to gin and vermouth and you got yourself a Klingon
Martini. The prop bottle was a bottle of Cuervo Margarita Mix with a
coat of white paint.
Chateau
Picard
A fine wine produced at the Picard family vineyards in Labarre,
France. Probably about 2% alcohol, it hits you like the slap of a silk
glove. As opposed to Kirk Ripple which is 25% and comes on like a
flying two-legged kick.
Finagle’s Folly
Perfected by Kirk’s personal physician/mixologist Dr. Leonard
McCoy, he bragged to Kirk he was famous "from here to Orion"
for this cocktail. By the expression on Kirk’s face after he
tasted it, he was thinking, “You mean, infamous, don’t ya,
Bones?”
Kanar
The Glennfiddich of Cardassia, this viscous brown liquid apparently
takes some getting used to. But, as the Cardassians like to say,
“If you can drink three bottles in a single setting you
won’t get a hangover. Because you’ll be dead.”
Mot'loch
A potent Klingon booze that is traditionally guzzled as part of a
traditional observance of the Klingon Day of Honor. The observance
includes the Ritual of Twenty Painsticks, combat with a bat'leth
master, and a traverse of the sulfur lagoons of Gorath. Makes St.
Patty’s Day look like an AA meeting.
Romulan Ale
This real ale (as in real fucking strong) brewed by the Romulan Empire
is illegal to possess in Federation territory, although the crew of
the Enterprise never seemed to have any problem getting their hands on
it. Light blue in color, it is responsible for at least one war
between the Federation and the Klingon Empire (Kirk thought it was a
bright idea to serve it during a diplomatic conference.) While the
quality of their liquor is beyond reproach, the uptight Romulans make
for poor party guests. They’re so un-hip even their glassware is
square.
Samarian
Sunset
A cocktail sometimes prepared by Commander Data. It initially appears
clear, but develops a multicolored hue when the rim of the glass is
tapped sharply. Don’t know what it tastes like, but I’ll
wager it’s a little fruity.
![](http://www.housevampyr.com/images/training/culture/drinks/saurianquarksbrand.jpg) Saurian Brandy
The intergalactic version of Thunderbird. Enjoyed by Captain Kirk, and
sometimes the crew when he wasn’t hogging it all. This liquor
seems readily available on even the most backwater of planets and was
responsible for Kirk landing in the brig at least once. The prop
bottle was actually a George Dickel Tennessee Sour Mash Whiskey
carafe.
Synthehol
This is the infamous alcohol-substitute served up by the Ferengi on
the latter-day Star Trek spin-offs. It’s designed to supply the
taste and odor of alcohol, without the hangover and kick. Check,
please!
Tzartak
Aperitif
Specialty beverage served by Guinan in the Enterprise-D's Ten Forward
lounge. The drink is adjusted so its vapor point is one half degree
below the body temperature of the patron, causing it to immediately
evaporate upon contact with the drinker's tongue. You know, like Bud
Light.
Tamarian
Frost
Sweet drink served in Ten-Forward Lounge, this one is strictly for
yeomen and androids.
Telluridian
Synthale
A drink prized by the surviving colonists on the planet Turkana IV,
the beverage was scarce enough to become a commodity worth stealing
from opposing cadres. Sounds to me like the writers like to take ski
vacations in Colorado.
Vulcan Port
Very intoxicating to alien races, the Vulcans claimed this insanely
strong liquor merely served to clear their minds and palettes. Uh huh.
My dad used to say the same thing about Jim Beam. Reportedly tasting
like crap until it’s been aged at least two-hundred years, it is
not recommended for the casual homebrewer.
Warnog
The Klingons claim warnog is a ferocious ale with more bite than a
Kazakian Saber Shark, but it sounds to me like they’re trying to
toughen up the local version of eggnog.
Wee Bairns
Scotch Whiskey
Chief O'Brien and Dr Bashir got loaded on this stuff then proceeded to
launch into an off-key rendition of "Chariots of Fire." You
know, the same effect Zima has on theater majors. Suddenly Klingon
Blood Wine doesn’t sound so bad.![](http://www.housevampyr.com/images/training/culture/drinks/scottiehooched.jpg)
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